She knew he was still alive. She passed his truck in the bar parking lot on her way home from the cemetery. Earlier, it was parked behind the practice in his usual spot. Before he bought the pickup, it was a pristine luxury sedan with vanity plates. She figured the truck was his midlife crisis. She’d never seen anything in the bed and after six years, there wasn’t a scratch on the body.
Crossing the short driveway, she scuffed to the mailbox and snapped it open and closed. Nothing. Years ago, she approached with anticipation, hope that he’d read her apology and sent a reply. At first she made excuses. The mail was slow. He didn’t have stamps. He was revising his letter. She checked the box three times a day, groping around in the back on cloudy afternoons, just in case she missed it.
She drove by his house, his practice, his hangouts, wondering what was keeping him. Watching him marry and raise his family, she decided he was punishing her. Bitterness kept her waiting for the expected rebuke, but it never came. The worst feeling was the knowledge he was aware of her existence and did nothing to make amends. How he must hate her now.
Before her mother passed away, she suggested maybe he hadn’t received the letter. Maybe something happened and it was never delivered. But she knew otherwise. He was getting his revenge. Visiting her mother today, she remembered the words, and wondered. Her mother had suggested writing again, or picking up the phone, or just stopping by the practice, for goodness sake. She wasn’t interested in goodness.
Curiosity lingered and she sat at her mother’s desk and rolled up the top. The drawer jammed and she loosened it with a kitchen knife, freeing a sealed envelope, which dropped to her feet. She kicked it aside and rummaged through the drawer, settling on stationery she had used as a girl, a monogram she’d never needed to change. There would be no apology this time, simply an inquiry as to his welfare. A polite missive. She placed the letter in the box and raised the flag. Tonight she would have a bit of ice cream with her pie. Her mother would be proud.









