Comments on: Hidden Lake

By: Ryan

Ryan — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 03:22:31 +0000

Nice economical (still beautiful) words! I feel like I’ve just read an epic story in a about 5 minutes.

By: Jeff Posey

Jeff Posey — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 11:14:04 +0000

You have a lovely voice and mysterious style. You tell us just enough to instigate the imagination but not enough to sate it. I see others liked that romantic line. I much preferred other phrases, such as these: “Mama slithered the blue ribbon from her drifting hair”; “She touched her head and then the window, where her finger covered the last of the lake. When she pulled it away, the fence was complete and Mama stood behind her and cried.”; “Mama emerged with her suitcase and a smile that chased away the years.”

Lovely writing.

–Jeff Posey

By: KjM

KjM — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:00:12 +0000

I have to admit, it is a very romantic line – you’ll just have to deal with it.

You have a gift for telling your read just enough. I am particularly fond of: “She didn’t realize the baby would awaken all her fears and an ugly scar wouldn’t let her forget her mistakes.”

There is great sympathy for Mama in that sentence. So much untold, yet just enough. That’s quite a skill you have.

By: J. M. Strother

J. M. Strother — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:11:30 +0000

I always find your writing so lyrical, Jen.
~jon

By: Chris Chartrand

Chris Chartrand — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 01:31:49 +0000

I concur, that line was my favorite.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:47:30 +0000

Haha! Really? It came to me so quickly, I probably heard it on a commercial or something.

By: Laura Eno

Laura Eno — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:39:32 +0000

Actually, that was my favorite line too! Keep puking, I guess! Great imagery, Jen.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:20:45 +0000

Hmmm. Almost puked when I wrote that line. Sounded like pure cheese to me

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:17:40 +0000

“She thought she might drown in his eyes until she discovered his mouth could stop her heart.”

Now this took real skill. See, you keep proving yourself. Excellent job Jen.